Advice From A Stripper: Strip Club Etiquette

Stupid mainstreaming of stripper culture. If I have to read another article about recession strippers, pole dancing classes, or strippers-turned-respectable-citizens, I’m going to throw my platforms at the cat. Our audience has changed, and instead of show behavior being learned by a young man on the occasion of his 18th or 21st birthday, it’s imparted from Auto-Tuned vocals and lists on the web. I’ve seen customers like the girl who slapped my ass so hard she bruised me, or the guy who threw quarters wrapped in dollar bills onto the stage. However, I assume ignorance before malice on their part, and, in that spirit, I offer these etiquette tips for customers in the strip club.

WOMEN

1. Relax. I’m here for your entertainment. I have exactly zero interest in your date/boyfriend/husband. His wallet interests me, and, to access it, I’ll be interested in keeping you happy and in the club. Don’t look at strippers as adversaries, but rather as fun boner facilitators! If you don’t want to come to the club in the first place, stand up for yourself at home and make it clear to your lesser half that he should come up with a better idea for a wacky date.

2. Stay off the dance floor. At one club I loved, when a female customer stood up to dance at her table, the DJ would remind her over the PA that “dancing at this club is done only by the professionals. If you are not working for this club, please sit down.” At best, it’s goofy and you look silly. At worst, you’re stealing attention and potential tip dollars from the dancers.

3. Tip, please. A couple is two customers, not one, and having a vagina doesn’t exempt you from tipping me. If you’re occupying stage-side seats, observe at least the bare minimum dollar-per-song-per-seat tip rule. If you’re seated away from the stage, but obviously watching the dancer, tip her.

4. Don’t get grabby. The rules are the same for you as they are for male customers. Dancers will let you know if female customers are allowed different touching privileges —in what I think is a generally misguided attempt to get the guys to spend more money. If you want to touch, observe, ask, and follow. If you don’t, ask dancers to back off a bit. It’s all business, and our feelings won’t be hurt.

Read More: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-girl-talk-strip-club-etiquette-from-a-stripper/

Gentlemans Club Chicago